Shortly following my full moon initiation journey in December, I had two more powerful experiences working with my Grandfather in shamanic reality and getting to know his, and now my, shamanic lineage. I learned about the power of being a female shaman, and what that means to my lineage.
1/2/23, 7:30 PM, waxing gibbous moon
…I found my grandfather and we were in the boreal meadow first in daylight, then in darkness. He called up our ancestral line of shamans and they joined us in a ring around a fire. They honored me and brought me to the center of the circle – I was raised up and recognized as the bearer of their work in the physical world. They stand with me, as my grandfather does, to support my work.
After time spent connecting with Reindeer, I was shown a powerful vision – the power of the feminine as it was seen and felt by the Reindeer people. I traveled through a long tunnel in rock and came to a large, hollowed-out cave where seawater was coursing in and out. I experienced a birth from the inside out – a being growing in the womb/cave I was in, and then being birthed in a rush of seawater as the being was brought into creation. It was a baby, a flower, a tree, and the whole world.
Women carry the ability to birth the world within them; this is our power my grandfather told me, placing his hand over my womb. And I could feel it there – the power not just to bring children into being but to create something much more fundamental. A whole world.
The vision transformed. At some point, I could see myself with glowing fingertips embracing a web of light shaped like a globe. All the points of light were people, their light interconnecting to form one whole energetic connected web – a being of its own. My crown chakra opened like a tree canopy made of light unfurling, and I was connected by light to the cosmos.
This is how we all are but can’t see it or feel it most of the time. Our roots embrace the physical and our crowns of light connect with all light above and around us. Our physical bodies – our smallest, crystalized form – bridge these worlds. Our bodies must become like hollow bones for energy to flow freely through. We will learn best when we can be a vessel of flowing energy.
1/14/23, 5 PM, last quarter moon
Going through the cave tunnel was different this time. I felt a shift happen, and when I arrived at the exit I was fully dressed for the first time in my shaman’s robes, which included reindeer fur and softened hide, and adornments. I was also wearing my antler headdress; the antlers were connected to the energy centers in the front of my head. The headdress also contained adornments, some of which were reindeer bone. I felt different – powerful and confident, and ready to step into my role of shaman. Being accepted and lifted up by my Grandfather’s shamanic lineage has stayed with me, and on a core level, I have accepted my place as their current shaman.
I joined the circle still feeling my confident power, and threw my arms ecstatically into the air before the fire, and felt my spirit rising with the smoke and flames. The motion of my arms and expansion of my heart center transformed my energy into the crow, and I soared over the arctic landscape for a while, seeing forests and rocky sea coasts.
I came back to the circle and joined the others chanting and singing. We danced and drummed and sang around the fire, raising energy. Eventually, we all turned to the constellations that make up Reindeer in the night sky.
I saw a vision of the rocky sea coast again while staring into the flames. I knew that the sacred sea cave I visited last time was near to what I was seeing. The vision had the effect of helping me recall that raw female power and recognize it in myself.
The other shamans did as well, and I was helped to understand that female shamans in our line are scarce, and considered more powerful than men. Our ability to bring life into the world – and carry it for a while in our bodies – is considered a large part of our power. While I was being revered by the other shamans, I felt myself briefly with a large, pregnant belly. But what I carried was not a child but a part of the earth.
My Grandfather stood apart from the other shamans from this point on. He explained that this ritual was for me to connect with our lineage on my own, and develop my relationship with them. Part of me was surprised to see how highly they regarded me (who the heck am I?). I learned from them and my Grandfather that there are several reasons for this.
One is being a female shaman in a lineage of mostly men. It’s akin to how some indigenous cultures might see rare color morphs of animals – like a pure white deer. It is something special and out of the ordinary, indicating a higher status, intelligence, or spiritual state.
My dying and returning to the same shamanic path is also part of my power status with our family. As they exist out of linear time, my return, although thousands of years after my physical death, is seen more fluidly. The time distance is essentially irrelevant; what is important is my return. Like being female, I get the impression my story of death and return to the same lineage is/was uncommon among the Reindeer People.
Finally, they let me know that I am important because I can bridge the spirit world with the physical and am now representative of my whole lineage in the physical realm. We haven’t had a shaman in physical reality for a very long time. I am the one who can bring change to the world now. I am their hands, and theirs are mine.
This article is part of an ongoing series that follows the path I’m traveling of Reindeer Shamanism, and how I’m building my skills and practice. If you’d like to read more articles in the series or follow along from the beginning, they are collected under the blog category of ‘My Shamanic Path‘.
Header image by Kathleen Edwards (https://www.kathleenedwardsartist.com/)